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“Remember, you don’t owe anyone an explanation,” says Dr. I can’t make it, but I hope to see you soon. Alternatives for “I’m Sorry”Īs a solution, use these five phrases instead. You might be surprised by how frequently you use it, often as a filler, even when it’s not sincerely meant. Here’s a challenge for you: In a journal, jot down every time you say or write “sorry” to someone - then really think about how you’re using the word. “ Repeatedly apologizing for experiencing an illness can actually minimize the health issue, imply that you’re doing something wrong when taking care of yourself, and create a rift in relationships,” says Silva Depanian, MA, LMFA, a licensed marriage and family therapist. When used while intentionally turning someone down, like canceling plans or ending a relationship, an apology can actually make the other person feel worse, per a 2017 study in the journal Frontiers of Psychology.

The habit of frequently saying “I’m sorry” can sometimes have a negative impact on your relationships. “However, it really just diminishes our own authority over our lives and gradually wears down our sense of self,” remarks Dr. From a standpoint of social etiquette, we tend to believe that apologizing can soften the blow of disappointment. Many of us have a reflexive tendency to apologize for things outside our control, due to social conditioning. “It’s likely the most persistent and harmful way we undermine our mental health, but its recognition can be incredibly powerful.” “We’re conditioned to apologize for ourselves,” explains Kim Gorgens, PhD, a Clinical Professor and Director of Continuing Education at the Graduate School of Professional Psychology at the University of Denver. These frequent apologies can start to weigh on your mental health, as you continually accept blame for a situation beyond your control. “I don’t mean to be such a flake, I’m so sorry,” might be a phrase you find yourself saying regularly.

Frequently having to cancel plans due to severe pain days often comes with an abundance of apologies - perhaps even self-deprecating remarks.

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